In an embarrassing situation for the Jewish State, a ship manned by monkeys carrying vaccines and bananas from Iran was boarded by the Israeli Navy. Violence ensued, and 7 bananas were reportedly wounded in the scuffle. One of the monkeys on board, in a fit of despair, jumped overboard and drowned. The IDF decided to board the flotilla in order to investigate the bananas alleged status as potential biological agents, as the ships originated from Turkey and were sponsored by Iran.
In response to what Israel perceives as a provocation, official IDF spokesman Avi Benayahu stated, “This is not a banana republic.”
US President Barack Obama is calling for an immediate investigation of the incident. Meanwhile, Turkey has informed Tel Aviv that if it does not apologize for the “outrageous waste of food and assisted suicide of an endangered chimpanzee” the Turkish government will cut off diplomatic ties.
The ship was not headed for the Gaza port, but for the Israeli port of Ashdod. The vaccines and bananas were to be delivered to the Gaza Zoo after docking the boat in Israel and going through the legal protocol, respecting the blockade. The monkeys were to deliver themselves to the zookeepers in an amiable, intelligent performance.
Israeli Defense minister, cis promising an internal investigation and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has released a public apology to both Turkey and Iran.
“Israel is not an enemy of monkeys. This was a tragic occurrence that will not be repeated. I once dated Jane Goodall, so you can trust me,” he said.
In a less diplomatic tone, Israel foreign minister Avigdor Lieberman was quoted as saying, “We owe no apologies to the monkeys or their bananas, the Turks, to PETA, the Palestinians or the international community. This was a provocation and Egypt can go to hell.”
In a separate incident, it was reported last Wednesday that the Overboard Suicidal Monkeys would be a great name for a dance troupe.